Why Hildy Wears Spandex
by SenshiKino
Summary: Crazy crazy crazy crazy... but is Hildy? What is she hiding? What is her secret? And why DOES she wear spandex?


Summery: Crazy crazy crazy crazy... but is Hildy? What is she hiding? What is her secret? And why DOES she wear spandex?  
  
  
Disclaimer: I do Not own gundam wing!  
  
Authors note: Um.. When I wrote that disclaimer I was in a really bad mood cause, I typed this whole story and my computer deleted all the text AAARRGGG! so I had to start retyping it and I didn't write this authors not right away either cause I was soooo mad! But I'm good now. I didn't rewrite a whole lot right after it got deleted cause I cant really write humor when I'm infuriated well anyway I cooled down and rewrote it just for you! ALL YOU WONDERFUL READERS! Well, anyway.. This story was inspired I hope you like it! Hee hee hee... AND PLEASE REVIEW!!!**  
**

  
  
Why Hildy Wears Spandex  
  


Hildy was very content it was time for her weekly long pamper session and she had just finished having a two hour long relaxing hot shower. Now that she was done with that it was time to cleanse her face. She wrapped a towel around her and sat on the closed toilet to drip dry contentedly. When all of the sudden IT came... IT had a voice so sinister so horrifying IT... was evil....  
  
"Hildy..... ", The voice said. "There is no escape!"   
  
Hildy looked up wide eyed. She clenched her towel around her looking around. "who.. whose there..?"   
  
"Mwahahahahahahah!" The shrill little voice replied.  
  
"who are you?!"  
  
"Mwahahahahahaha!"  
  
"are you having fun?!" Hildy exclaimed getting annoyed.  
  
"YES! Mwahahahahaahaha!"  
  
"Well, good I'm glade someone is!" She replied sarcastically crossing her arms.  
  
"Mwahahahahahaha!"  
  
"oh shut up and get on with it!"   
  
"Oh, but please, this is the best part! One more good laugh and then ill stop I promise!"  
  
"Fine." Hildy answered. getting annoyed.  
  
"Oh, yes thank you very much! You wont be disappointed!"  
  
"whatever, just get it over with." She said rolling her eyes.  
  
The voice cleared it's throat. "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" the voice laughed. "How was that?"  
  
"Wonderful." Hildy replied full of sarcasm.  
  
"Thanks. Now I do believe its your turn."  
  
"Fine." She growled crossing her arms. "oh no. its you."  
  
"OH COME ON! that was pathetic! You gotta put more FEELING into it!"  
  
"Fine." Hildy rolled her eyes once more. "OH NO! ITS **_YOU_**!" She exclaimed putting her hands on the sides of her face. "...better?"  
  
"Oh, Yes, thank you ever so kindly."  
  
"sure."  
  
"YES! It is I!"  
  
"Noooooo!"  
  
"Assimilate with me!"  
  
"No, NEVER!"  
  
"Join me!"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"Ah! But it is to late we are already as one!"  
  
"Nooooooo! " She exclaimed looking down.  
  
"YES! I have returned!"  
  
"But I just shaved!" She said picking up her razor.  
  
"MWAHAHAHAHA! Did you really think that THAT would defeat ME!"  
  
"It Defeated you YESTERDAY!"  
  
"That was _YESTERDAY_!"  
  
"And what's wrong with yesterday!?!"  
  
"You can't expect the razors of yesterday to defeat the leg hair of tomorrow!"  
  
"OH no! this cant be! Say it's not so!"  
  
"It IS so! YES! That razor has seen better days! Its battles are over! Its DULL! Mwhahahahaha!"  
  
"Noooooooo!" She raises her razor and sobs. "alas! I knew thee well! Although you we're only a razor our times together were close! ..And its true that some times you got under my skin.. but the battles we fought were great!! and now.. FARE WELL!" she whipped a tear out of her eyes and tossed it into the trash.  
  
"MWAHAHAHAHAHA! You can never defeat me!!! You should have come prepared!"  
  
She smirks. "Oh, but I did come prepared!" She says pulling out a can of shaving cream.  
  
"Foolish girl! You can not defeat me with shaving cream alone!!! "  
  
"I don't intend to." She says as her smirk grows.  
  
"What good is shaving cream without a razor!?"  
  
"it isn't." She says still smirking as she starts to gob shaving cream on her leg.  
  
"THAT'S RIGHT! So you may as well just give up now! YOU don't have a razor!"  
  
"oh, yes I do." She pulls out a new razor and smiles viciously.  
  
"HA HA! Do you really believe you can defeat me with only one razor? IT will be dull before you've conquered half of me!"  
  
"But I have more than one."   
  
"**_WHAT?!"_**  
  
"Yes! I went to the store!" She proudly exclaimed pulling out a bag of new razors. She starts to shave.  
  
"Don't do this! Just.. just think about all the time your wasting!"  
  
"oh, its quiet all right"  
  
"but.. but.. think about all we've been threw!?"  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"All the good times we've had!!"  
  
"When?" She asks nonchalantly still shaving."  
  
"WHY, we spent your entire childhood together!!!"  
  
"EXACTLY! Too long!" She continues to shave.  
  
"BUT! But! Even if you defeat me now, ill just come back tomorrow!"  
  
"Then I'll shave you then too!"  
  
"THEN I'll come back the next day and the next!"  
  
"AND ILL defeat you again and again!"  
  
"AND, the day after that?!!"  
  
"YES! I will defeat you everyday!!"  
  
"YOUR razors wont last forever!!"  
  
"I'LL BUY MORE!"  
  
"BUT just think of all the money your wasting!!"  
  
She smirks. "They're quite cheep really. AND the more you buy the better the bargain!"  
  
"BUT.. BUT.. I'm a part of you!"  
  
"NOT FOR LONG! Bwhahahahaha!" She finishes shaving the first leg switches razors and starts the second.  
  
"You won't be rid of me for long!"  
  
"BUT, I'll be rid of you for now!"  
  
"I'll just grow back! "  
  
"Nooooooo!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"By tomorrow ill be stubble!"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"And then soon I'll be back!"  
  
"THEN I'll shave you off!" She finishes the bottom half of her leg.  
  
"NOT before people see me!"  
  
"NOOO!"  
  
"Like I said there is no escape!"  
  
"IS'nt there some way I can be rid of you once and for all!"  
  
"NO, because those products on TV don't really work! mwahahahahahaha!"  
  
"Well, then I'll just shave you! Again and AGAIN!"  
  
"Resistance is futile! As you cut I have already began to re-grow! Mwahahahahahaha!"  
  
"Noooo!" She stops her razor.  
  
"YES! You're wasting so much time, you may as well give up now!"  
  
"WAIT! I wont stop! your just trying to trick me when I'm almost done!" She shaves the rest of the hair off.  
  
"NOOOO!!!! I SHALL RETURN!"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"AND when I do, I'll be **_BLACK_**!  
  
"NO not that!"  
  
"AND unsightly!"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"YES, MWAHAHAHAAHAAHA!!!"  
  
"STOP LAUGHING! I WON!!"  
  
"YOU may have won this battle but you haven't seen the last of me, even now I grow!"  
  
"THERE MUST BE some way I can have smooth and lovely legs and not have to deal with you!"  
  
"THERE IS NO WAY! Like I said there is no escape!"  
  
"Wait there is a way!"  
  
"No, there isn't!"  
  
"YES, there is and I have the answer! SPANDEX!!! Bwahahahahahaha!!!"  
  
"NOOOO!"  
  
"SHUT UP!" she says rinsing the hair down the drain.  
  
"Like I said! I SHALL Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeettttttttttttttuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
The hair disappears down the drain.  
  
"I'll be ready! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!!!!"  
  
Duo sits on the couch with Heero flipping channels. Heero raises an eye brow.  
"Is that Hildy?"  
  
Duo smiles. "Yeah she yells all the time when she's in there, something about leg hair. It can take up to hours. That's why I invited you over."  
  
"And I thought you were crazy....."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Is Hildy really crazy? Are you? Why does leg hair have to grow anyway? Does leg hair really talk.. or is Hildy schizophrenic? Does spell check ever catch all my errors?  
Why do authors always ask rhetorical questions at the end of there stories? DO you fight with you're leg hair? Do you want to? Why don't those products on TV ever work? Has Hildy found the answer? Would you wear spandex? ... I wouldn't.. Why don't people ever review my stories? Why are the few people who Review people I know? Why is the sky blue? Is your favorite color green? It should be..   
And now the most important questions: Did you like it? Do you want more?  
  
Please review thanks for reading!!! oh, and if you want you can even answer my rhetorical questions.. hee hee hee ;)  
  
  
  
  
  
**  
**

  
  
  



End file.
